The Empowering Nature of Fostering an ‘I Can’ Mindset
As parents and educators, we play a crucial role in helping our kids foster an ‘I can’ mindset. In a world of quick fixes and instant gratification, not all kids are eager to tackle the challenges they face in their day-to-day lives. Having a fixed mindset is due to our fast-paced, ‘microwave’ world and a lack of teaching or modeling how to be active learners with a sense of curiosity.
Sometimes, we focus so much on success and mastery that we forget that learning is a journey and will look different from child to child. We need to remember, as James Clear says, that we need to get 1% better each day. We must help our kids see failure as a tool, not a punishment. We also need to teach our kids to be active learners and not just regurgitate the information we give them.
Learning is complex, messy, and nonlinear. But with the transformative potential of an ‘I Can’ mindset, anyone can become a successful student and lifelong learner. Helping our kids develop this mindset is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. It will serve them well into the future, instilling hope and optimism.
The good news is that no one is too old to start developing an ‘I can’ mindset. I hope this inspires you as an adult to keep learning, discovering, and embracing the struggle. As parents cultivate an ‘I can’ attitude, it will be a great model for your kids. It will help you more naturally support them along their journey.
What is an ‘I Can’ Mindset?
An ‘I can’ mindset looks at challenges positively. It feels supported by the size and difficulty of a problem or task. Having an ‘I can’ mindset isn’t about looking at life through rose-colored glasses but realizing that life has challenges and that you can problem-solve, make a plan, and work through them.
Let’s delve deeper into the two mindsets. We can either have an ‘I can’ mindset or an ‘I can’t’ mindset. An ‘I can’ mindset helps us persevere as we tackle challenging things. It allows us to keep showing up and adapting to reach our goals. It enables us to try different things while giving enough time to work.
On the other hand, an ‘I can’t’ mindset fixates on the negatives of the task at hand: “It’s too hard.” “It will never get better.” “I am not smart enough to do this.”
Do you experience having an “I can” mindset in some areas and an “I can’t” mindset in others? I hope I am not the only one.
Personal Experiences with ‘I Can’ and ‘I Can’t’ Mindsets
An ‘I Can’ Mindset Example: Building My Tutoring Business
For example, my journey of building my tutoring business, Audrey Tutors, has been a learning curve. I’ve had to learn marketing, social media, teaching online, etc. But over the years, by God’s grace, I have kept at it and have developed something I am proud of. I love getting up daily, helping students develop their reading skills, and cultivating a love of learning. During this time, I have embraced the power of “yet.” I keep showing up, learning, and growing.
An ‘I Can’t’ Mindset Example: Learning to Play the Piano
Now for the “I can’t” mindset. I have had a piano for over four years now. I have always wanted to play it. I dream of being able to play the good old hymns and Christmas carols. But for some reason, I feel stuck. I feel like I can’t figure it out. My piano and book are in my living room, ready to be played, yet I constantly say, ‘I can’t’ for whatever reason.
Two things come to mind as I type this:
- How do you cultivate an ‘I can’ mindset and make progress when the task seems complicated?
- I empathize with my students when they struggle to go all in with their reading and writing.
There truly is a connection between passion and action. But a lack of passion and interest doesn’t mean one should give up.
Reasons We Can Get Stuck in an “I Can’t” Mindset
Misconceptions About Abilities and Success
Common misconceptions exist about our abilities and how we get to the next level in our endeavors. We get stuck in a fixed mindset when we think that we have to achieve something by a particular time or that there is only one way to reach the endpoint. Comparing ourselves to others makes us feel doomed and burdened, thinking we are not good enough and cannot improve.
Societal and Educational Pressures
There are so many societal and educational pressures that emphasize results over effort. Or, more accurately stated, we have put kids in a box and say they need to achieve at a certain level, or something is wrong with them, or they are behind. How we approach schooling our kids is the best for their mental well-being and equipping them to succeed. Are we causing a sense of not being enough? We want to grow and move forward, but we want to compete with ourselves, not some standard set by others.
Fear of Failure and Past Negative Experiences
Fear of failure and past negative experiences can cause one to get stuck in a fixed mindset. When we focus on the “what ifs” in a negative light, they can become paralyzing. I know this is true for me. I have had health issues that have caused me not to be able to walk. It will go into remission, but then, there can be a flare out of nowhere and cause everything to go backward.
Lack of Encouragement or Role Models
Sometimes, there is a lack of encouragement or role models who demonstrate perseverance. I have noticed that training often rushes through topics without testing and seeing if certain skills are mastered. On the other hand, it spends so much time on one topic that it doesn’t expose you to more complex things so you can continue to grow.
For example, a child who struggles with reading and writing might believe they are ‘not a reader or writer.’
Ways to Change Mindset
Modeling an ‘I Can’ Mindset
Adults need to model and reinforce an “I can” mindset. As educators, we must allow kids to see us use self-talk to work through a tricky challenge. Kids must realize that we are still learning and don’t know everything. They need to see that it is natural to encounter something new, struggle to understand the topic, and overcome the hurdle.
One way to do this is to cultivate it into conversations. Conversations about how we are cultivating could be held daily around the dinner table or a few times a week while riding in the car. Ask, “What is one challenge you have faced? What did you do or are you doing to overcome it?”
Using Growth Mindset Language
The power of words and phrases like “not yet” or “one bite at a time” helps kids realize that learning is a journey with twists and turns, but they can make it to the end. Having the vocabulary for self-talk, such as “I can do this,” “Let’s try this,” or “This didn’t work, so let’s try something else,” can help kids take their thoughts captive and take action.
We want kids to realize that sometimes things don’t turn out how we want them to. Often, this is for the better, or it just takes longer. We don’t want our kids to think their end goal will happen if they believe and say the right thing. We want to celebrate if it does and see the silver lining if it doesn’t.
Practical Strategies to Foster an ‘I Can’ Mindset
- Encourage Effort and Process Over Results
- We want our kids to embrace the process of learning something, realizing it’s more than just the result. Help them know that one part of the process is improving each day. We want them to be active learners, noticing what they don’t understand and using feedback to improve.
- Provide Praise for Hard Work and Persistence
- It is easy to shut down, but pushing through and keeping at it over time is more rewarding. What matters is that we approach each challenge courageously and keep at it until we reach our goals.
- Teach Children to View Challenges as Learning Opportunities
- Encourage them to ask questions like, “What don’t I understand? What do I need to learn? Who can help me?” Teach them to see challenges as opportunities for growth.
- Engage in Activities That Promote a Growth Mindset
- Do family projects that require teamwork and problem-solving. Have your child start a reflection journal where they can write about what they understand and don’t understand and how they are taking action to move forward.
Character Traits That Strengthen an ‘I Can’ Mindset
- Resilience: The ability to bounce back from setbacks. Help your child quickly shake off setbacks and get back in the game.
- Perseverance: Continuing to try, even when things are hard. Showing up and giving their best effort is what leads to change.
- Curiosity: Encouraging a love for learning, asking questions, and discovering. Curiosity helps keep life interesting and helps us better understand the world.
- Optimism: Fostering a positive outlook on the potential for success no matter what comes one’s way. Embrace the possibility of change and look at the bright side of things.
These traits can be cultivated and recognized in daily interactions. Tackle day-to-day responsibilities with positivity and perseverance, whether school, chores, or relationships.
Ways an ‘I Can’ Mindset Can Help Kids with Dyslexia
Understanding Dyslexia and Its Challenges
Understanding dyslexia and its everyday challenges can help develop an ‘I can’ mindset. Knowing more about one’s situation helps one view it correctly. This doesn’t mean that one will always struggle, but it does mean that learning will be different and may take longer. This understanding can foster determination and reduce frustration.
Building Confidence and Reducing Frustration
An ‘I can’ mindset can boost confidence because it focuses on taking things one step at a time. It emphasizes showing up and giving your best effort rather than aiming for perfection. By having our kids involved in setting goals, we can help them build confidence and reduce frustration.
Encouraging Asking for Help
An ‘I can’ mindset permits one to ask questions and seek help. It also encourages breaking tasks down into more manageable pieces.
Tips for Supporting Children with Dyslexia
- Create an Individualized Learning Plan
- Ensure students are exposed to rich content while allowing them to secure a strong foundation. Practice writing and reading regularly to develop these skills.
- Be Patient and Encouraging
- Understand that for kids with dyslexia, learning can be more complicated and slower. Challenge them, but avoid overwhelming them. Provide intermittent practice and expose them to more challenging materials as they progress.
- Celebrate Gains
- Track progress and celebrate improvements, no matter how small. Help the child be part of the goal-setting process and make adjustments as needed.
Conclusion:
Embrace the Power of ‘I Can’
An ‘I can’ mindset allows us to develop a strong mind and enjoy life’s journey. We need to be intentional about our thoughts and see challenges as opportunities to be solved. By embracing the power of “yet,” we can continue to move forward and grow the skills needed to live a whole life.
How have you and your child embraced an ‘I can’ mindset? Let me know in the comments!